


Milk Putz

by SORD



Category: Naruto
Genre: Domestic, Family, Fluff, milk discussion, spelling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-20
Updated: 2014-12-20
Packaged: 2018-03-02 13:17:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2813333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SORD/pseuds/SORD
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Temari is new to this whole "parent" thing. Shikadai is new to this whole "kid" thing. Things aren't perfect, but hey, this off-duty ambassador and her on-duty toddler are doing their very best.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Milk Putz

"Milk is cow putz," Shikadai announces one morning. "Like what comes out of a cut."

"You mean pus," Temari corrects. "Not putz. Putz is a different thing."

"No. Mom, putz is the white stuff like what happens when you get a cut and you don't put a bandage on it like when Chocho bit me that one time." He's getting fidgety but he hasn't finished breakfast so he can't leave the table yet, and he's trying to talk his way out of it.

"I know what you mean. That's pus. Putz means," And she hesitates, because doesn't 'putz' mean something insulting? Shouldn't she know this? "Putz means something else. Pus has an 'ess' sound." She switches tactics before he can ask what 'putz' means. "How would you spell 'pus'?"

"Pee. You. Ess." Shikadai starts giggling with little bits of egg falling out of his mouth. "Pee us. Mom, I said 'pee us'."

"You sure did, kiddo. Eat up, we've got to go soon." Shikadai's messing around with his light-up chopsticks (she used to let him use regular ones until Ino came around with her stupid pale baby in that stupid fucking hippie baby sling and got all concerned - 'won't he hurt his poor mouth? I mean, they're SHARP' - and Temari was insecure enough to go get a pair of stupid plastic frog patterned hinged chopsticks with LEDs on the ends and now it's all the kid will use so she has to wash them by hand for every meal, thanks a whole fucking lot, Ino.)

Shikadai grabs the handles on his sippy-cup and goes to take a drink. He pauses with the cup almost at his mouth. "Pee us, Mom." 

"Pee us, kiddo. Drink your milk."

Shkadai's laughing while he takes a sip and then he inhales a big mouthful of milk. He's coughing, and Temari doesn't quite know what to do beside pound him on the back while he sprays milk all over the table. Now there's milk everywhere, all over her shirt and all over Shikadai's everything, and now they're both going to have to either change clothes and be late or be on time and smell like milk all day. God damn it. She wants to get pissed but Shikadai is so distraught, he's got milk in his hair and on his face and it looks like white tears, oh god it looks like cow pus, the frog chopsticks are flashing and Shikadai is on the verge of tears and the whole situation is so ridiculous that Temari just laughs and laughs and lays her head down on the table, right in a big puddle of spitty milk. 

They're almost an hour late but Shikamaru has fallen asleep on the park bench so he doesn't care. He gives them each a kiss and wrinkles his nose. "You guys smell funny."

Shikadai is solemnly untying his shoes and Temari is solemnly trying to prevent him from untying his shoes. "There was a cow pus incident." 

"Pee us, Dad," Shikadai adds. 

"Ok," says Shikamaru. "I understand."


End file.
